scarletmorning: (Tribro)

*flail* *meep* *superflail*


I think I've packed all the things now. ... *is still flailing* So excited and a bit scared. ;A; I don't think I can sleep tonight.

It will be awesome. It will be awesome. It will be awesome /repeats forever


I've tried to write some semi-sexiness to distract myself, but I've noticed once again that I'm not good at writing sexy. It's very important to be good at picking out the right words, in which I am... not particularly good, methinks.

Anyway, not as flaily now. I fear I might cry a bit later since all the bad things turn up when it's dark. Hopefully not though ;A;
scarletmorning: (Fado suspects Shock!)
10 days

10 days

10 days

10. Fucking. Days.

D8 D8 D8 D8 D8 8D D8 D8 D8 D8 D8 8D D8 D8 D8 D8 D8

scarletmorning: (Default)
This is really a strange and emotionally draining time for me. If I'm not very responsive or here, then it's because I'm scared as fuck of social interaction. I've predicated that sometime close before leaving my panic would come.

Well, it's here now. And I'm constantly close to tears. So, I really do not have the energy to socially interact now. The sole thought of being alone in England and having to socialise with everybody without someone familiar to fall back on is terrifying. So only the thought drains the little tolerance I have. Oh, and if I seem mood and grouchy then that's a sign that my tolerance level has been overstepped and I'm on my last legs. I apologize in advance should I act like an asshole. Or just never reply. Or sound passive-aggressive.

At least it's not a "OMG I can't fucking go!" panic. Only a "OMFG I have to talk to people and be alone with them and alone and alone and what if they're assholes and what if we hate each other and what if they smoke and are assholes about it and what ifwhatifwhatif". A very uncomfortable and nasty panic.

Also, my foot still hurts and so I'm constantly feeling a bit sick. What a combination.

On another, hopefully distracting note:

I have no idea why September is meta month. If I weren't so panicked, I would care more about it, but at the moment I'm too drained. However, if you want to hear my thoughts on something, just say it. It might be a good distraction. Well, I'd do it later sometime.

/doesn't care if there are any typos in here. I can't re-read this now.

Edit: Art, because it distracted me :)

scarletmorning: (Geoffrey Derp Grinsen)
Heat, I'd say "go die in a fire" if I wouldn't believe that you'd probably gladly do so. And have wild parties with Fire. And that would be highly contraproductive. So just go step on a lego and never come back.

Seriously, I hate heat. It's so disgusting. It feels like I have a fine film of moisture all over my body. So. Disgusting.

On a happier note, I got my accommodation offer 8D I have a room~ in Canterbury~ So happy~ Not the one with my own bathroom, but hey, still nice~ And I got a photo so I can enrol officially in a few minutes~ Everything is awesome.

On a not-so-awesome note, I might have a tiny idea for Seth/Tethys but thinking about Jehanna is defintely unsexy at the moment. No more heat, kthnxbai. Maybe if I can pull something out of my lovely behind, I can still manage to write something.

Oh, and I should start with Duessel-stuff. But writing when it's so warm is also unsexy.

But what is sexy are Scottish accents. Unbelievably sexy~

Edit: To celebrate my enrolment at the University of Kent, I treat myself with a paid account (moar pics 8DDDDDDDDD). Yay~ Now I just have to decide between all my shiny iconsssss. So harddddddddddd
scarletmorning: (Geoffrey Derp Grinsen)
HOMG, I just got my welcome folder from Kent 8DDDDDDDDD So excite~ Now I can enroll~

I'm actually really excited. With fear. Is that a good sign? Hopefully 8D

(Also, I've said it before but I really do hate the people who write Trojans and viruses and send them around. Go... not die in a fire, but step on a lego. A nasty lego.)

Now back to Secret of Mana. PS: I downloaded the soundtrack 8D It makes me happy~
scarletmorning: (Gwendolin: sad swan)
I just bought my ticket. For England. I'm excited, scared and a bit intimidated. And yet good and calm. This is all very strange and I'm not sure if I like it.

Halp ;A; Emotional confusion. (And I'm surprised that I'm not as scared as I thought. About which I'm happy. But I fear all the scaredness will shower down on me on the last day here ;A;)
scarletmorning: (Secret of Mana)
(Let's see if lj actually lets me update)

So. Much emotional stress the last few days. This whole ERASMUS thing, the documents I need, confusion about said documents, all came at once. I felt like shit yesterday (I'm thankfully quite good now. Taking one day to calm down and get accustomed to the thought and everything helps.)

I'm not sure if I should thank lj for that since I didn't whine to my flist. On the other hand, for once I actually wanted some support (which... happens rarely because I never want to bother other people with my problems, because they're, well, my problems and not their problems. Even if they secretly stress me out like this). Argl.

Anyway. Onwards to nicer things.

"The Derelict" by  Abney Park = love. I love the text. Love love love 8D

Also, In Extremo concert tomorrow <3
scarletmorning: (Vigarde Grey)
Bro update: Last part of the Uni AU on and dreamwidth 8D

Another strange thing, loosely connected to the bros... I had a really, really strange dream again. I got three guinea pigs. Which all looked like the bros (Fado was not turquoise but Viggy´s fur was definitely slightly bluish). Which was hilarious even in my dream. Then suddenly I noticed that Fado was not Fado but Fadia. XD I was highly amused. And I separated them then since I thought "Wouldn't want her to get pregnant". But then there was a time skip and surprise, surprise, Fadia was pregnant XD And I spend a long time debating who would be the father and which constellation would be more awesome and it was hilarious. In the end, they were both fathers XD Oh lawd, what does that mean (I do hope that it was some kind of prophetic dream because, dude, bro piggys, do want).

Also, there were two cute rats and one alien dog. With stripes. And I called [ profile] hooves  over because "ZOMG, the dog has stripes and looks like a zebra!" Roflmao, strange alien dog. But she didn't like it because the dog had yellow rings on its fur :( XD


In less than two months I will go to England. HOLY SHIT, SO SCARED RIGHT NOW ;A; DAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT.

Edit 2:

Am battling my depression caused by aforementioned angst with pretty art *o* There are so many gorgeous Odin Sphere pieces on deviantArt. Prettiness~ (And Gwendolin and Velvette seem to be favourites. With Mercedes on third 8D Happiness~)

Edit 3:

Writing Viggy angsting about Lyon and dark magic helps as well 8D (Because I didn't cover that angst topic yet XD) And it will contain the "image" I got from "Isabella". Not too sure if it will be really creepy, though.
scarletmorning: (Hayden and Fado Sepia)
I'm not sure if it's hilarious that the baristas at my usual Starbucks only have to ask "cold or warm" and then already know what to do or if I should be worried me going there too often (and always taking the same. But mocha is so yummy~).


It's mostly amusing, I believe XD

Also, writing is okay. :/ A bit inspirationless but still somehow writing... Oh well.

Hm, Swedish exam next week. The test exam today was better than I thought so I'm good. For now. There are still things I need to revise but otherwise yay 8D

Omgomgomg, only one week then term is over D8 And then only shortly until England /angsts (a bit)

"Love" by Abney Park also sounds creepy XD You creepers, you~


Whatwhatwhat? There are some guests from Canada and I'm supposed to ~entertain~ the younger ones? D8< What kind of fuckery? jkghaoiru I don't want to talk with them. I hate talking with strangers (yup, I'm not the centre of fun.) And about what should I talk? My big problem with keeping up conversations IS that I never know about what I should talk DX DX DX Unhappiness. Great, now I'm annoyed gpishergbpai Hate.
scarletmorning: (Secret of Mana)
I'm really grumpy today. I had a really shitty dream that managed to drain me mentally and a bit physically. Which is hilarious in a bad way. Gragl. >> And then I had that sad and also draining dream yesterday (in which for the first time an online friend appear, oh boy v_v) TrollLyon does make me a bit happier tho.

Anyway, need to go to the bank later to learn a bit about credit cards and which I can use in England. Because in approximately 2 months and 1 day (or 2) I will arrive in England. Which is also a bit scary.

Not a happy day. :(

PS: Hmmm, Secret of Mana icon makes me a bit more happy as well... And Eureka. But also only a bit... and three small bits can't defeat one big blob of grump. :(
scarletmorning: (Thor grin!)
So, there was a Mediavistik Day at my university today. It was quite awesome. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I learnt a few things:

1. I need moar Mediavistik in my life. Like, seriously.

1.2 I need definitely moar heraldry in my life. Very, very much.

2. Thanks to the horrible, horrible Winter Verlag, I want moar books. On history, linguistics and other stuff. Unfortunately, they are expensive. And I still have too much books to read ;A;

3. I buy faster than I read. A problem. (A lovable problem, though)

4. I want to sing a few Minnelieder. Because there was a short presentation about Minnelieder where we sang. And it was pretty 8D But it wouldn't sound as nice because the choir sounded awesome~

5. The professor who is giving the lecture on the Karolinger is awesome and his voice~ So pleasant~ I could listen to him all day. And, well, he teaches exactly about the time period I love. Awesome~

Other learnings that have nothing to do with the Mediavistik Day:

6. My contest piece is evil. Everytime I think it through it has another ending. And I like all of them ;A; The tone always changes a bit and I like all the changes. But I can't decide >< Evil.

7. I want to write Hayden+tiny!Innes. Kinda like the prompt on the long forgotten [ profile] fe_fest . Because yay family fics 8D


9. There is no point nine, but I like odd numbers. 8D

10. Need to buy Abney Park CDs. Like now (ie. later) 8D

11. Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, no even numbersssssssssss >8I


Now, to distract me from the scary, I make a meme:

Challenge me!
Give me the weirdest situation you can think of, a crack prompt so impossible your brain breaks when you think about it and/or challenge me to write in a different writing style. I will make them happen!

I would prefer FE8 or 9/10 though, since just writing FE7 characters would be a challenge ;P Of course, drabble length.
scarletmorning: (Geoffrey Derp Grinsen)
I feel completely uninspired by the new [ profile] fe_contest  prompt as of yet. We'll see if that'll change in the future. The chance is not high since I seem to be unable to fill prompts lately.

BUT. That's not the awesome thing that makes me go ZOOMOMFGYAY.

I finally got my student ID from Canterbury~ 8D Now it's official that I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally go to Kent in September~ ZOOM! 8D So happy that I could burst!

Oh, and I'll probably post the Sacred Stones Mood Theme I tinkered later. 8D

EDIT: In Extremo are still made of awesomesauce.

Also, I've wanted to work on my paper like a BOSS, but then I found this again and now I'm lost and giggling like mad.
scarletmorning: (Kent; You did what?)

I've just got an email from Kent~ (Not the FE Kent, you sillys~) Now I will leafe through the courses~ Iiiiiiih, autumn = Kent time~

(Kent icon, you are not entirely appropriated >:>)

Also, since I just remembered it: does anyone of you know a good horror/Gothic comic? One that has a good horrific atmosphere. With maybe interesting panel montage and characters that make you shiver? It's all for a paper and I have to resort to Sandman, or worse to Black Hole if I don't come up with something better. I want to look at From Hell if I find it in time... I want to write something about evoking emotions with certain techniques and the use of stereotypes (probably), but both Sandman and Black Hole only bored me and weren't really... what I would call a Gothic/horror comic. And how can I write about emotions being evoked if I felt nothing myself?
scarletmorning: (Vigarde)
So, I was at the Erasmus meeting today :/ I just heard that I will not go this semester (the summer semester in April) but next (the winter semester in Sept/Oct). I was surprised by that because I honestly believed I would go in the summer. Not entirely sure how I should feel about this. I mean, I already planned things. OTOH, it may also be good since I can do some more courses here :/ But then there is the question if I even have the opportunity to do courses in England that I can use here (I'm already in third semester in English and fifth in German :/). And I don't want to take a Hauptseminar in German yet, because it would probably be a linguistic seminar, which would be bad since that is my major (I'm not entirely sure if that's the correct term here) and I have to write my final paper about this topic. But since I only can write it after I've taken all my courses, there would be the year in England and maybe even one additional semester in Germany between "taking the course" and "writing the paper". Which is obviously too long.

I don't know. I have to think about that. After my exams. Speaking of which: at the moment I'm in the "Oh shit, I'm so not going to pass this shit" phase. I hope it will go over soon.

Also, I will probably be at the campus in Canterbury.

Now I'm gonna conclude this with something happier: I have aquired possibly brainbreaking knowledge. But since I decided to be not quite so evil anymore, I'm not gonna say it yet. It concerns Lucius. If a certain person not want to hear it, I'll keep it to myself :p
scarletmorning: (Default)
We got a really random package today. Nazi propaganda. Seems like there is a group who randomly sends out these things and hopes that some people believe the shit they write. Oh lawd. To be honest? That was the most hilarious read I've had for weeks. Just apply logic and common sense to propaganda and it falls apart. The reasoning and excusing of criminals was so bad and illogical that I had to laugh while reading. Truly hilarious. (It's not so funny that they're sending this shit around though)

On a different note:
I have exams on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Saturday will probably be okay, Monday is ohgodwhatisthisidon'tknow, Tuesday will probably kinda good and Thursday is, uhm, probably okay as well? A fun week. At least then the semester is overrrrrr. Two essays and one Hausarbeit for the free time, yay -.-


The Erasmus meeting is tomorrow and I will finally learn more about the University of Kent :D 9 months in England~ (Am still not scared of it, I r confused)


scarletmorning: (Default)

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