I went to see The Hobbit 2
16/12/13 20:25![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scarletmorningAnd one word could already describe what I thought of that movie.
No.
Just No.
Alright, let's elaborate:
- The pacing was off. The change between fast and slower was just too abrupt. Not quite a whiplash type of change, but still jarring. I know that this part of the book wasn't particularly action-y, apart from Bilbo's fight against the spiders. They wanted to spice things up; the general cinema audience wants some actions. Calm movies often don't bring as much audience as a movie that has both. The Hobbit 2 just didn't manage to find a good balance.
- The Additions. I'm talking about the various action scenes, and Tauriel and Legolas following the dwarves to the Lake Town. Most of the action scene were just (sometimes notably) not really fitting. They seemed plastered on. The fight during the barrel ride? Stupid and really unnecessary. What is so wrong with Bilbo fooling the elves so that they don't notice that the dwarves are gone? Is that some kind of "Oh well, the elves are so awesome how could they be fooled!" thought? If yes, fuck that. Really. The elves were annoyingly perfect in LotR (in the book and the movie, and yes, I know why Tolkien wrote them like that) and they weren't in the Hobbit. They were slightly careless Party Elves and they were fun. Also, the rescue from Thranduil's dungeon was a moment of character growth of Bilbo. I didn't expect much from that side, to be honest (just my attitude), but I was still disappointed.
The orcs following the party to the Lake Town? Completely superfluous. Why? In the book the episode was a moment of needed calmness. It was the moment before the "climax". The reader was supposed to not think about the possibility that maybe the town could be in danger so that it was all the more surprising and shocking that Smaug would destroy the town because of Bilbo and the dwarves.
And what in the name of fuck was that fight of the dwarves against Smaug. I mean.... why? Why did you kill the suspense. Bilbo didn't know what Smaug was doing, the dwarves didn't know and, most importantly, the reader didn't. You were wondering why Smaug wasn't there, why the dwarves were not caught. Smaug could've come back any second. You thought they were in the immediate danger of being fried. But no, Smaug must tell them what he'll do. Because that makes it so much better. In some way surely. Yeah, of course.
Now, Tauriel and Legolas. Oh boy. That was so bad I'm still kinda speechless (lol, not really). I mean, I didn't have anything against the addition of a female elf. If they fit her in well, cool. But wow, they did it in the worst way possible. She could've been just the captain of the guard and maybe Thranduil's right hand. But what happens almost immediately. Certain ~glances~ from Kili and then she talks about how tall and good-looking this dwarf is AND THAT IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS WE HEAR ABOUT HER. But of course you also have those jealous glances from Legolas and you just know "Of course that's the reason why she's here". I wouldn't even be that much against her following the dwarves if it wasn't so obvious that she follows them because of Kili. And between this love triangle bullshit she kills some orcs. So they inserted a stereotypical warrior woman that's so tough and stuff but oh~ then she falls in love with her enemy and I wanna puke. The only tiny redeeming fact about including Legolas in this mess is that he's a prejudiced dick towards the dwarves. At least something canon.
- The writing. It just wasn't that good. It was okay but also in parts either stupid or repetitive. Also, in a situation of life and death by dragon fire, THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR PSEUDO-CRYPTIC ANSWER, THORIN! Those kind of answer just make you facepalm. (Goddammit, this fight scene) Just tell people what you're trying to do. Also, if you (seem to) try to establish Smaug as an intelligent manipulator, don't let him fall for an obvious trap AND, after you established that he can smell the dwarves off Bilbo's clothes, make him not see the dwarves walking over a bridge directly underneath his belly. Seriously! Isn't that Writing 101? Also, there was one line from one of the dwarves in Lake Town that made me inwardly howl with laughter. It was the type of line that works only as a joke (and I so wish I could remember it!). Why would you do that? It sooo ripped me out of the atmosphere. The writing was better in the first movie.
Alright, I didn't completely hate the movie. It had a few good things.
- The design of everything. It was just beautiful again. I love Thranduil's palace.
- Speaking of that glorious bastard. Hm~ Thranduil. He was Awesome!
- The scenes with Gandalf in the tombs and Dol Guldur were good. The atmosphere was excellent, it seemed spooky and strange and supernatural in the sense that you know this is the same dark power that you saw in the LotR. It was just filmed well. Much better than the rest of the movie!
- The one piece of writing that was better than in the movie; Bard was introduced much earlier. It wasn't just "lol, this person you never heard about just killed Smaug, the big evil thing that always hung over the group's head and that was the one thing nobody knew how to get rid of". You actually know this person and can feel for him. (Not that some aspects that were added were good, mind you. This spying on Bard from the Master was just strange. It felt like it was just done to put some more action and ~danger~ into this part of the movie. Can't you let the viewer have a moment in which they can take a breath?)
So, all in all.... I wouldn't see this movie again. :/
PS: Thorin is still a sexy mofo.
PPS: I remembered the line, but it's because of a German Comedian using that line in one of his programmes and in the movie it sounds just as hilarious and stupid. I don't think I could translate the context.
No.
Just No.
Alright, let's elaborate:
- The pacing was off. The change between fast and slower was just too abrupt. Not quite a whiplash type of change, but still jarring. I know that this part of the book wasn't particularly action-y, apart from Bilbo's fight against the spiders. They wanted to spice things up; the general cinema audience wants some actions. Calm movies often don't bring as much audience as a movie that has both. The Hobbit 2 just didn't manage to find a good balance.
- The Additions. I'm talking about the various action scenes, and Tauriel and Legolas following the dwarves to the Lake Town. Most of the action scene were just (sometimes notably) not really fitting. They seemed plastered on. The fight during the barrel ride? Stupid and really unnecessary. What is so wrong with Bilbo fooling the elves so that they don't notice that the dwarves are gone? Is that some kind of "Oh well, the elves are so awesome how could they be fooled!" thought? If yes, fuck that. Really. The elves were annoyingly perfect in LotR (in the book and the movie, and yes, I know why Tolkien wrote them like that) and they weren't in the Hobbit. They were slightly careless Party Elves and they were fun. Also, the rescue from Thranduil's dungeon was a moment of character growth of Bilbo. I didn't expect much from that side, to be honest (just my attitude), but I was still disappointed.
The orcs following the party to the Lake Town? Completely superfluous. Why? In the book the episode was a moment of needed calmness. It was the moment before the "climax". The reader was supposed to not think about the possibility that maybe the town could be in danger so that it was all the more surprising and shocking that Smaug would destroy the town because of Bilbo and the dwarves.
And what in the name of fuck was that fight of the dwarves against Smaug. I mean.... why? Why did you kill the suspense. Bilbo didn't know what Smaug was doing, the dwarves didn't know and, most importantly, the reader didn't. You were wondering why Smaug wasn't there, why the dwarves were not caught. Smaug could've come back any second. You thought they were in the immediate danger of being fried. But no, Smaug must tell them what he'll do. Because that makes it so much better. In some way surely. Yeah, of course.
Now, Tauriel and Legolas. Oh boy. That was so bad I'm still kinda speechless (lol, not really). I mean, I didn't have anything against the addition of a female elf. If they fit her in well, cool. But wow, they did it in the worst way possible. She could've been just the captain of the guard and maybe Thranduil's right hand. But what happens almost immediately. Certain ~glances~ from Kili and then she talks about how tall and good-looking this dwarf is AND THAT IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS WE HEAR ABOUT HER. But of course you also have those jealous glances from Legolas and you just know "Of course that's the reason why she's here". I wouldn't even be that much against her following the dwarves if it wasn't so obvious that she follows them because of Kili. And between this love triangle bullshit she kills some orcs. So they inserted a stereotypical warrior woman that's so tough and stuff but oh~ then she falls in love with her enemy and I wanna puke. The only tiny redeeming fact about including Legolas in this mess is that he's a prejudiced dick towards the dwarves. At least something canon.
- The writing. It just wasn't that good. It was okay but also in parts either stupid or repetitive. Also, in a situation of life and death by dragon fire, THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR PSEUDO-CRYPTIC ANSWER, THORIN! Those kind of answer just make you facepalm. (Goddammit, this fight scene) Just tell people what you're trying to do. Also, if you (seem to) try to establish Smaug as an intelligent manipulator, don't let him fall for an obvious trap AND, after you established that he can smell the dwarves off Bilbo's clothes, make him not see the dwarves walking over a bridge directly underneath his belly. Seriously! Isn't that Writing 101? Also, there was one line from one of the dwarves in Lake Town that made me inwardly howl with laughter. It was the type of line that works only as a joke (and I so wish I could remember it!). Why would you do that? It sooo ripped me out of the atmosphere. The writing was better in the first movie.
Alright, I didn't completely hate the movie. It had a few good things.
- The design of everything. It was just beautiful again. I love Thranduil's palace.
- Speaking of that glorious bastard. Hm~ Thranduil. He was Awesome!
- The scenes with Gandalf in the tombs and Dol Guldur were good. The atmosphere was excellent, it seemed spooky and strange and supernatural in the sense that you know this is the same dark power that you saw in the LotR. It was just filmed well. Much better than the rest of the movie!
- The one piece of writing that was better than in the movie; Bard was introduced much earlier. It wasn't just "lol, this person you never heard about just killed Smaug, the big evil thing that always hung over the group's head and that was the one thing nobody knew how to get rid of". You actually know this person and can feel for him. (Not that some aspects that were added were good, mind you. This spying on Bard from the Master was just strange. It felt like it was just done to put some more action and ~danger~ into this part of the movie. Can't you let the viewer have a moment in which they can take a breath?)
So, all in all.... I wouldn't see this movie again. :/
PS: Thorin is still a sexy mofo.
PPS: I remembered the line, but it's because of a German Comedian using that line in one of his programmes and in the movie it sounds just as hilarious and stupid. I don't think I could translate the context.
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