Alle Kunst ist der Freude gewidmet

I've got Dragon Age 2 -- which is mostly the reason why you haven't much from me lately.

But.

I'm disappointed. Dragon Age 1 was so much more fun. I mean, I tried to view it separately from it so that I could judge DA2 without any prejudice and I did, but it's just not that fun. Varric is pretty awesome and I've come to like Anders, but otherwise there's such a shortage of likable characters :( Oh well.

Oh!

And don't get me started on the re-design of the Qunari and Elves. No, no, no. No, no. I won't talk about that. And I won't think about that.

Or the fact that you have to be a human and cannot be a dwarf or elf. So you have no choice over the origin of your character. Marvelous. Really.

PS: All those posts about FE13 make me itchy. But the game gets here only in the middle of April. *sigh*

As I'm prone to do when I'm sitting in the bus. Mostly because after having the deep-seating need to write Last Story fanfic for a while now, I actually did it this morning (not finished yet, the beginning is missing), but it made me think.

There's no comm for The Last Story. But I want to have a comm where there might be discussion and fic, but I'm too insecure to just make one :( I'm doubting that I could do it and would feel like a total loser if nothing more than the opening post or so would ever be posted there. I mean... I really want one and would probably post my fic there... but I would feel horrible if I were the only one. :( But I feel silly for thinking that.

Am I overthinking things again?

Ugh, so many feelings about Xenoblade. Many of them bad, many of them good. Gawd, why are you making it so hard for me to like you?

Anyway.

I posted an Ephraim & Lyon fic that I had started, like, ages ago. An AU in which Lyon is an electric doll and Ephraim his owner. Majorly fun. And sad 8D On ffnet and here. Or it will be on ffnet as soon as it lets me.

Edit: On ffnet now 8D Why so bug-y, ffnet?

I feel siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

/whines

/will go to bed in a minute after having finished this little spelling game/test: http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/media/spelling-bee-2011/

Posted my Fadia/Vigarde story on ff.net and dreamwidth. I still love it though it kinda makes me uncomfortable in my current state of mind.

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Things have happened in rl, but I don't feel like talking about it. Suffice to say, I'm not in a particularly good state of mind at the moment (restless and hopeless would be fitting adjectives). If I'm very quiet or only talk about nonsense, this is why.

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Also, have I ever told you that I hate the sounds a cat makes when she's cleaning herself? Because I do. It makes me a bit sick. Stupid, loveable and cute cat.

This is really a strange and emotionally draining time for me. If I'm not very responsive or here, then it's because I'm scared as fuck of social interaction. I've predicated that sometime close before leaving my panic would come.

Well, it's here now. And I'm constantly close to tears. So, I really do not have the energy to socially interact now. The sole thought of being alone in England and having to socialise with everybody without someone familiar to fall back on is terrifying. So only the thought drains the little tolerance I have. Oh, and if I seem mood and grouchy then that's a sign that my tolerance level has been overstepped and I'm on my last legs. I apologize in advance should I act like an asshole. Or just never reply. Or sound passive-aggressive.

At least it's not a "OMG I can't fucking go!" panic. Only a "OMFG I have to talk to people and be alone with them and alone and alone and what if they're assholes and what if we hate each other and what if they smoke and are assholes about it and what ifwhatifwhatif". A very uncomfortable and nasty panic.

Also, my foot still hurts and so I'm constantly feeling a bit sick. What a combination.

On another, hopefully distracting note:

I have no idea why September is meta month. If I weren't so panicked, I would care more about it, but at the moment I'm too drained. However, if you want to hear my thoughts on something, just say it. It might be a good distraction. Well, I'd do it later sometime.

/doesn't care if there are any typos in here. I can't re-read this now.

Edit: Art, because it distracted me :)

You know what is even worse than a normal presentation?

A surprise presentation.

Maybe you remember a few posts ago I talked about being sick and not being able to hold a certain presentation? I emailed the teacher and he said "Okay, I'll do your stuff". However, now, a few minutes before the lecture starts I hear "Oh, hey, we haven't even reached your part yet. You'll hold it today :D" And I'm like "WAIT D8 But I don't have my material with me!!1!" Well, it ended with me taking hastily notes while another presentor finished their chapters. And then I, just with my notes and without my pretty powerpoint presentation, have to face the class without a clear plan and a bit rambling. Oh joy (thankfully it was not that bad contentwise since my topic was quite easy)

HOWEVER. The really bad part about this?

Normal presentation = my English becomes bad (granted, my German tends to get a bit bad during presentations as well, mostly as in me forgetting very basic words)
Surprise presentation = my English gets doubly bad 

Really, apart from that it was almost okay. But the funny part? My presentation is not finished yet. However, in two weeks (next week is free) there is the last ERASMUS meeting before going abroad, which takes place at the same time as my lecture. And I really, really want and need to go to that meeting. It's so bad it's hilarious ;A; (Only ray of hope; I have a co-presentor so I can ask her to finish my part)

BUT. Now enough depressive things. Let's distract ourselves with bros.

I still have no title for the 10_orders collection. "21th Century Boys" popped in my head earlier, though there are two problems about that; there will also canon pieces in the collection (ruling 21th century out) and the bros will not always be boys. And I haven't found another good title yet.

Therefore I'm tempted to just call this whole thing "In Which The Bros Are Doing Brotastic Stuff But Sometimes They Aren't Bros But Have Boobies Instead Of Dingdongs". Unfortunately that title is a bit long. Shucks.

Oh, and on an almost unrelated note:

Hayden going blind when about 60 = headcanon, oh yes
Innes going blind = headcanon, hell yes! (Yes, I do find it hilarious to make archers (who are, in Innes´ case, openly proud about their archerness) go blind. I'm a bad person)

Being sick + studying = SUCKAGE! No, really. It sucks.

Anyway, I wrote stuff and due to sickness I hate it. I don't know. Gah! I posted a little Geoffrey piece. It's pointless and not even really fluffy. I don't even. Egal. I also have five drabbles starring the Kings and Queen of Magvel. They're part of a 100 ficlets challenge. I haven't finished the rest of their prompts but I felt like posting something.

I don't know. My brain feels like mashed potatoes.

Ich hab verdammt noch mal keine Lust auf Lernen. Es kotzt mich an. Ich hasse Prüfungen. Immerhin muss ich nur eine verflixte Hausarbeit schreiben. Es kotzt mich trotzdem an. Und dann auch noch Writing am Samstag! Naja, ich denke, dass das vielleicht nicht ganz so schlimm wird -.- Verdammich.

Sooooo, I just spontaneously remembered the Mary Sue contest. And I don't really feel like participating. Besides, I'm not really sure if my OC really is a Gary Stu. I mean, if I can give you very good reasons for why he is who he is (and those are awesome and hilarious reasons), is he still a Gary Stu? I mean, it's not that he's overpowered. Apart from that thing he's pretty normal. (But he's hilarious.) I don't know. I don't feel like writing the story anyway. And writing FE7 is sooo hard ;o;

I also thought a few hours ago -- I was editing my Seth/Tana friendship fic -- that maybe I should get a beta to read it. There are just a few sentences that look very strange to me.

On the other hand... I have an irrationally strong aversion against people reading my stuff over my shoulder (figuratively). I mean, it would just be about grammar. The beta, of course, may voice his opinion and I will think about it... but I still want to do things my way. I HATE it if I can't do things my way.

This doesn't really makes sense to me, because I WANT constructive criticism. I want to become better. It's... I'm just strange. It's a personality thing. For example; if I'm writing something and somebody comes up, looks over my shoulder and asks me what I'm writing, then I just want to punch that person. I absolutely cannot stand that. I mean, get away, you may read it when it's finished. Not before. After that you can criticise me.

Yeah, it's strange. I still don't know what to do about that.

Also, yay for Fado icon~ I love the three kings of Magvel; Fado, Hayden and Vigarde. There should be awesome fic about them.