Depressed Whining

[scarletmorning]

I'm in such a bad mood, it's not remotely funny. Quite the opposite. I'm in such a bad mindset and the unnerving part is that I'm not unnerved by it. If I compared it with the times when I had been in similar moods, the shock always managed to... hold me, in a way. But now I'm just "so do not care" that I don't care about myself. I still want everything to stop and end (which does actually not involve suicide in any way) and leave me alone forever. And nothing seems to matter to me. Everything is stale and boring and annoying and while I wish that everything would leave me alone and stop sucking, I'm desperately searching for things that might make me happy by being fun, interesting, anything. But everything I try or touch just is boring and depressing and pathetic. Pathetic because it all seems so useless and senseless.

I kinda hope that my anti-dep soon help me and with uni starting next week I'll have distraction, but at the moment I'm just wondering if anything is worth doing in life :/ And it doesn't look good for life.

I hate life a little bit.