In which I found a rofl quote and SHINY NEW HEADCANON

[scarletmorning]

Because I have nothing better to do than reading supports during a lecture 8D (omg, still so boring).

Anyway. First one is pretty normal and not earthshaking like the other one, but rofltastic nethertheless!

Artur: So this is a wyvern...
Cormag: Hey, what's going on here? Don't get too close now. It may look calm now, but it's got a dangerous
side. Like me.
Artur: S-sorry! Oh, the name is Artur.

Cormag, that sounds like a bad pickup line XD "He's dangerous, just like me *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*" Ffffffffffff, did Viggy teach you nothing? XD

BUT! That is nothing against what I found in the Moulder/Vanessa A support.

Just a little context; in the B support Moulder tells Vanessa the little Innes story about the show archer and how Innes beat him. It is obvious at the end of this support and in the beginning of the A that Moulder knows that Vanessa has a crush on Innes. And then this comes:

Vanessa: Father... Thank you again for the other day.
Moulder: Hmm? Oh, you mean that story?
Vanessa: Yes.
Moulder: Ah... You know, you remind me of myself, twenty years back.
Vanessa: Huh?
Moulder: Oh, never mind... ... Good luck to you, Vanessa. I don't know where this will lead, but I'm sure the prince knows your feelings.

O.O What does that mean? How are they connected? The topic is still "crush on the Frelian prince". Which means that Moulder had a crush on a Frelian Prince as well. Now, if we remember the quote in the Gilliam/Moulder support, namely that Hayden´s coronation was approximately 15 years in the past... That would make Hayden the Frelian Prince, who Moulder had a crush on. o///o And according to my headcanon, Hayden and Aileen are already married (and I think Innes is already born).

What is this...

XD That is awesome! (And since Moulder would be in his teens if I assume that Moulder is in his early to middle 30s in game and there is no pornstache yet, so it doesn't go into DNW territory) OMG, drama and ZOOM, god, that is awesome XD Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. I kinda want fic about that.

Okay, stop fangirling, self 8D So. Much. Want. (I like one-sided crushs.)

Comments

[rethira.livejournal.com]

That Artur/Cormag support is part of the reason I like Cormag. Such terrible lines, Cormag.

...I wonder, does Hayden know about Moulder?

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I kinda like the thought that Hayden knew (and discourage it, because, uhm, Aileen). But I also like the version where Hayden is oblivious and Moulder just kinda pines for him a bit. >< I can't decide.

[raphiael]

XDDD Cormag.
"Hey baby. . . I'm really into woodworking, if you know what I"m saying."

. . .man that bit from Moulder. THat could definitely be taken that way, couldn't it?
PAST BROMANCE WITH HAYDEN?

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

HAYDEN IS A BRO, OF COURSE EVERYBODY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM. THE BROFLUENCE CANNOT BE STOPPED.

But nothing ever happened. Hayden would never cheat. I refuse to even think about it. :(

[raphiael]

Yeah. . . . Hayden doesn't seem the type to sleep around. Like at all.
ALAS, POOR RONERY MOULDER.

Dude I feel like Moulder should be everyone's love counselor.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Hayden is the bro I really cannot ever see sleeping around. Such a loyal soul.

Well, he is canonically someone everybody goes to for help/advise. Pornstache wearer = love counselor, or what XD

Every time I see you using the Innes icon, I always want to answer with an Hayden icon 8D

[raphiael]

Yeah. . . . I figure Viggy, sure. Hayden? Nahhhh.

True indeed. I want to write MOULDER'S AWESOME ADVICE CORNER now. 8D

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

XD I kinda want to write the one-sided crush teenMoulder. Nnnh, dramatic fun~

AND YES, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. Kinda like the advice corner in magazines/newspapers/wherever those things exist.

[raphiael]

"Dear Moulder,
I have been really gloomy lately. I have been so gloomy that people call me things like 'Gloombob' and 'Gloombox' and 'Mr. Endless Pit of Despair and Grief and Pain'. All that makes me feel even gloomier. What should I do?
Sincerely,
anonymous gloomy person"

"Dear anonymous gloomy person,
Stop being gloomy. Also, hi, Knoll.
Sincerely,
Moulder"

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,
I've started to have feelings for the twin of a friend of mine. The person is really courageous and strong and handsome and charismatic. I'm not sure my father would approve and I don't think he likes me the way I like him anyway. I mean, she would never like me the way I like her! Please help.

Sincerely,
desperate squishy mage.

[raphiael]

Dear desperate squishy mage,
Sounds like you have quite the predicament there! Maybe you should talk to your friend's twin. I happen to know of a young lad who sounds much like him, and apparently it's in fashion these days for younguns to keep a harem under their bed. Who knew? Perhaps you could join the fun.
If that fails, you could always keep Anonymous Gloomy Person company.

Sincerely, Moulder

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

there is a boy I like, but he only ever looks at that squishy mage. And he seems to keep a harem under his bed. Why has he never ask me to join them? :( Am I not pretty or interesting enough? How can I make him pay attention to me? If he don't, I might have to give in to the tanned boy with the leatherpants, but my father doesn't like him and my father is scary when he's angry. Please help.

Sincerely,
conflicted and leatherpants-liking girl

[raphiael]

Dear conflicted and leather pants-liking girl,

As fun as being part of a bed-harem sounds, it's really overrated. (Trust me, I know from experience.) If you're with your tan friend in the leather pants, you won't have to share with anyone or live under a bed! Doesn't that sound great? If your father objects, remind him that you'll always wear a helmet when out riding with your leather-clad, well-tanned manbeast, and try to show him the less edgy side there.
If that fails. . . tell your tanned friend I'm still available?

Sincerely,
Moulder

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

my daughter is going out with a suspicious dude in leatherpants. She tries to make me trust him, but I know how dudes in leatherpants are. Me and my best friends wore them when we were younger as well and duuuuuuuude, the ladies loved them. I want to rip out that guy´s guts whenever I remember that. What should I do?

Sincerely,
a pissed off father

PS: Stop oggling me, Moulder, or I'll fire you.

[raphiael]

Dear pissed off father,
Remember, even though ladies loved you when you wore leather pants, you weren't a bad dude, right? You'd never hurt a lady, and I'm sure your daughter's leathery friend would never hurt her. Just remember that before you go off gut-ripping.

Sincerely, Moulder

PS: I'll stop ogling you when you stop being sexy.
PPS: The image of you in leather pants makes my not-leather pants happy.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

I think I'm in love with my superior, but I'm too shy to tell him. He is far too good for me. Also, I suspect that my older sister likes him as well and I would never hurt her. Additionally there is also this artist, who always flirts with me and he is really cute. But I can forget my prince. I feel so torn. Please help me.

Sincerely,
torn pegasus lady.

PS: King Hayden says I should stab you if you don't stop ogling. I thought I should warn you.

[raphiael]

Dear torn pegasus lady,
First loves are hard, but I think the chances of you living happily ever after with a prince are sadly small. Maybe you should examine whether it is really love, or just a crush? This artist fellow sounds like he'd be a good match, too, and less likely to break your poor pegasus-loving heart.

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: Tell King Hayden I'd rather be stabbed by him, if you know what I mean~

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

I'm a mercenary and have fought my whole life. I'm not known to show or have feelings, but every time I look at my boss, my skin gets warm and my palms tingle. I think people call that symptons of love, but I'm not sure. I've never experienced something like that before. Am I really in love or did I catch the flu again?

Sincerely,
probably sick mercenary

PS: I was hired to assassinate you by your king. I like it when my victims know their fate before and try to flee. See you soon.

[raphiael]

Dear probably sick mercenary,
You're probably sick. Unless you relish the idea of competing with scantily clad dancers for the rest of your life, I mean. If you do? It's definitely love. I would advise you woo your boss by making out with that dancer in front of him. Men like that, I hear.

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: My pornstache is immortal.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

thank you for your answer to the last letter. I had the best night of my life. 8D And when I'm already here; there's dude -- I kinda know him for a while -- and I try to stop him being gloomy and stiff all the time. He did something stupid sometime in the past and I want him to get over it. Any suggestions.

Sincerely,
very happy mercenary leader.

PS: I hear King Hayden has ordered a ninja outfit and weapons. I'm gonna bring them with me. Do you want to bring me something for you as well? As some kind of thank you for the very special night.

[raphiael]

Dear very happy mercenary leader,

You're welcome! Always glad to help.
As for your friend, does he happen to be a mage? He sounds like he could use the kinship of others of his kind, and I happen to know two such fellows who could use more friends, anyway. Will give details when we meet.

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: That would be lovely!
PPS: Did you happen to record last night? For, uhm, future advice uses, of course.
PPPS: If you did, do you think you could bring your recorder for the meeting of your friend and my two mage buddies? I'd like to save it. For posterity. Yes.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

an old acquaintance of mine has made me a strange proposition. I find the thought of meeting other mages interesting, since I find broadening my knowledge a positive experience. However, I don't like the leer he was wearing. I think he might have a hidden agenda. I'm unsure if I should trust him in this matter. Besides, I have to watch over the Great Dragon and have no time to meet up with "a bunch of squishy gloomboxes".

Sincerely,
hermit

[raphiael]

Dear hermit,

I think you're not giving the experience a fair shake. Suppose these new mages practice a form of magic you're unfamiliar with? It would be quite enlightening for you, and I'm sure your dragon friend would approve of that. Knowledge, after all, is the greatest earthly pursuit, is it not? I'm sure you'll find it an educating experience.

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: Do you have any purple underwear? It might come in handy.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

my life is strange. My best friend looks at me with a really strange expression all the time and his gloomy friend seems to be jealous or something. And my sister has gone off with her redhead lover (Damn, I want his motor bike, but he never lets me ride it). And then there was this girl, the sister of a friend of mine who always glares at me and wants to "spar" with me. She goes off with her new tanned boyfriend and I think she wants me to be jealous, but I'm not sure. I don't understand girls. Anyway, back to my question: do you know where I can get a bigger bed? My harem doesn't fit under my old one anymore?

Sincerely,
smoking hot dude with IMPORTANT problems

PS: My father had a huge bed. Ya know where he got it from?

[raphiael]

Dear smoking hot dude with IMPORTANT problems,

That sure is troublesome, isn't it? Why, back in my day, when our harems got too big for our beds, we just bought new beds! The way you talk about it sounds so difficult. By the sounds of it, though, there isn't a bed big enough for your harem. Might I suggest just giving them a full room - and adding your sparring buddy, his sister, your best friend (and his gloomy friend), and perhaps even your sister's redhaired lover and the tanned boyfriend to the mix?

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: Do you have any vacancies in your harem?
PPS: If not, do you at least save videos?

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

I'm a bro and have been a bro all my life. Unfortunately none of my sons have grown up to be bros. That made me gain my grey hairs, but I've learned to live with that. But I still somehow had the hope that one day they would have their own harem. (Just like me back in the day... that were the times! They had a whole wing for themselves!) My youngest was on a good way (even though he was his half-brother... but I can't be picky), but now he and his half-brother are PART of a harem. Imagine my horror :( I want to make them clear that they need their own harem to be pimp bros, but unfortunately I'm kinda dead. Please help me!

Sincerely,
The Pimp Brombie (TM)

PS: Between 3 and 4 in the morning nothing can wake Hayden. Not even a wyvern crushing through the ceiling. Maybe that helps you thinking up a solution for my problem.

[raphiael]

Dear Pimp Brombie (TM),

I'm afraid broness is not a purely genetic trait. Some children, unfortunately, just aren't born with that spark of bro-dom, and it sounds like neither of your mentioned children have it. Just let them live the way they were meant to. Perhaps latent pimpness will surface?

Sincerely, The Pimp Moulder (TM)

PS: Oooh, I know what I'm doing tonight~

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

there are several things going wrong in my life; my sister, for example, who has fallen for a guy with leatherpants and a motor cycle, my true love rival ignores my challenges and rather spends his days in his bedchambers -- no, I'm not jealous -- but those things I can take care on my own. (I have pointy arrows and they always find their target). But! What I cannot accept is a pervy priest creeping in my father´s room and sending him in a half-asleep killing spree because he was groped (especially since the pervy priest managed to escape). My father is a highly respected man and does not deserve this treatment. Consider yourself dead. Oh, almost forgot the question; should I punch or kiss the Renaitian bastard?

Sincerely,
murderous prince

[raphiael]

Dear murderous prince,

You should certainly kiss him. I'm sure he'd like it - in an "Oh murderous prince, you have surely bested me!" way, of course.
Also, I hear he has openings in his harem, though apparently I am not pretty enough to qualify. Alas!

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: Dead? Me? You underestimate the pimpstache.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

a friend of mine, who I thought I knew better, has turned out to be a perv and creeper. I'm concerned about him. The king wants to skin him alive and I've never disobeyed the king. But I can't just kill a good friend. For once in my life I absolutely don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
a concerned friend

[raphiael]

Dear concerned friend,

. . . You mean Valter, not me, right~?

Sincerely,
Moulder

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

I'm having a crisis. I don't know how I should continue with my life. At first I thought I would do everything to help rebuilding my homeland, but then I met those guys and I fell in love (Not with all of them at the same time!). The thought of settling down became really tempting and when I finally decided that I wanted to live with them, well, only one, but I thought I could settle down with any of them, they left me. :( Some princesses came along and two of the guys suddenly turned into leather-clad biker boys who only had eyes for motor cycles and hot princesses. The really cute one found another really cute girl and the gloomy one only looks at the Renaitian prince these days. My new dreams have been destroyed :,( I could go back to my decision to rebuild my homeland, but I feel guilty for even wanting to quit it, to live somewhere in peace. I don't feel like I have the right to return.
What shall I do? Should I just accept the invitation into the harem or become a cat lady?

Sincerely,
a cleric with the crisis of her life

[raphiael]

Dear cleric with the crisis of her life,

Looks like you waited too long to jump on those opportunities. If it makes you feel any better, clerics look awfully silly on motorcycles, cute boys tend to cheat, and gloomy men are terrible in bed. You're better off without them. There is, however, an option you haven't considered - there's always room for clerics at Moulder's place~!

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: I have a Jacuzzi!

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

I've suddenly become lonely. The guy who was like a brother to me suddenly started to ignore me when he got his harem (even though I liked him more than a brother but he doesn't notice me. And the sister thing cannot be what holds him back; he looks at his real sister not really... brotherly.). And then my only other friend has recently joined the Gloomy Mages Club and I don't like the other people from his village; they always look at me strange. How can I get my friends back? ;.;

Sincerely,
sad and lonely dragon girl

[raphiael]

Dear sad and lonely dragon girl,

Perhaps joining your brother-person's harem is te right course of action. You may not be the only one he pays attention to, but at least it would be something, right? Also, I believe the Gloomy Mages Club frequents his harem sessions as well. You'd never be lonely again!

Sincerely,
Moulder

PS: Tell your "brother" I'm still waiting for an invite, myself.

[crimsonmorgan.livejournal.com]

Dear Moulder,

after the death of my father my life finally looks good again. I have a loving and hot leather pants-wearing boyfriend and my best friend finally stopped pining for my twin brother. (And his best friend stopped trying to hit on me while in reality he wanted to hit on my brother. It was very awkward.) But now said brother makes my life horrible again! He and his harem are always so loud at night and they never clean up the kitchen or bath after using it! They're driving me mad. I haven't got a good night of sleep for days. Do you have any suggestions? (I've thought about kicking him out, but I can't do that. I still love my brother)

Sincerely,
angry sister

PS: Ephraim says "No beards in my harem".