scarletmorning: (Mercedes)
I need to stop writing fanfic and start doing more constructive stuff.

But Odin Sphere prompt, hnnnnnnnnnnnnnng.




Curse youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
scarletmorning: (Ammy XD)


8D

So, in other news.... I found something very strange out.

Very rarely I get "possessive" of pairings. With means that I only like one pairing of certain characters. Seeing them paired with other characters sends a strange feeling of... sadness mingled with a whiff disappointment over me. I don't know why that is. I have no reason to be sad or disappointed. The feeling is still there, however strange and unnecessary I think it is. I kinda was okay with that until now, because it was only one pairing.

But now... I do not ship it anymore. I lost practically all my interest in that couple. And yet... whenever I see them paired with someone else, this sadness/disappointment comes back D8 And I don't know why! It doesn't make sense :( Is this sentimentality? Some leftovers, because said couple was the reason why I started writing fanfiction? It's kinda... ridiculous. Any ideas how I could change that? :(

On a "happier" side: as soon as I want to gleefully tear a character down and want to do horrible things to them, they have risen to the rank of a "favourite character". It's the special ~priviledge~ of my favourites. Somehow I don't think that they would be happy about this 8D

scarletmorning: (Simon Wut)
Alright, I posted my Secret Santa fill for blankspectrum. I'm still kinda insecure about it, but I do like it. I hope he/she likes it :( (And I feel like I'm getting unreasonably worked up about it...) Anyway, it's at my writing journal and of course in the exchange comm. I'll post it to ff.net some time later.

Otherwise, I really, really want to give my mum her present RIGHT NOW D8 Because I like it so much and I think she'll love it and somehow this all sounds selfish in my head because I want to see her being happy about it. But maybe I just got it all backwards.


Also, GameOne continues to be awesome and still has problems loading their videos. Goddammit, you cockteases (or whatever the plural of that word is)

scarletmorning: (Secret of Mana)
I'm here.

The travel was not too long and yet so freaking tiring. I couldn't sleep at all the night before and it was horrible. I had a headache the whole time. And I almost missed my flight. I probably would've broken down if I had. I mean, I was close to breaking down pretty often. Right now as I'm writing and recalling where I am and that I'm not home makes me tear up again. And that in the library. (My internet in my room isn't working yet)

And it just feels so wrong and strange. I'm hungry but when I eat I immediately get sick of it. I barely ate anything yesterday or today. This is all so... I just wish the lectures would already start so I get some distraction. But as it is with the Welcome Week first ...? Too much time for me to brood and cry and stuff.

The room is okay. I'm not feeling particularly comfortable in it, but it could be worse, I guess. I have four housemates (one hasn't arrived yet) and having them around stresses me more than I thought it would. Social interaction is just... so scary and uncomfortable and... I don't particularly want it. I have to live with them for a long while though so... I see a happy future in front of me /sarcasm

Not even writing can distract me because my mind is so overloaded with fretting and what you have seen already that I can't think of... fanfiction.

At the moment I hate this all. Hopefully that will change soon.
scarletmorning: (Tribro)
TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

*flail* *meep* *superflail*

Edit:

I think I've packed all the things now. ... *is still flailing* So excited and a bit scared. ;A; I don't think I can sleep tonight.

It will be awesome. It will be awesome. It will be awesome /repeats forever

Edit2:

I've tried to write some semi-sexiness to distract myself, but I've noticed once again that I'm not good at writing sexy. It's very important to be good at picking out the right words, in which I am... not particularly good, methinks.

Anyway, not as flaily now. I fear I might cry a bit later since all the bad things turn up when it's dark. Hopefully not though ;A;
scarletmorning: (Fado is writing fanfiction)
You know, guys... it's only today and then tomorrow... and the day after that day I'm leaving...

;A; 8D D8 8D

I'm still in a good mood (though I had a dream tonight in which I bawled my eyes about leaving. Huh) and am more or less looking forward to it. We'll probably all cry at the airport. I've packed a few packets already with books and stuff (and if they get lost, I'll be pissed forever). Oh man.

On a lighter mood; I wrote Vigarde/Fadia angst, woot! Only without a proper beginning. Oops.


Heh, to distract me some more, I have stolen this meme from raphi and xirysa aaaaaaaand someone else, but my memory is shitty so I forgot ;A;

Give me a pairing, and I'll answer the following. If it so moves you, give me a few pairs.

1.) What they most commonly do during sex (if they are the sexing type)
2.) Who has prettier (or just more attractive) hair
3.) What they argue about most often
4.) Who'd cope best if the other one died
5.) The happiest plausible happily-ever-after I can think of for them
6.) The most tragic possible ending for them
7.) What I enjoy most about their dynamic
8.) What I find difficult to write about them
scarletmorning: (Default)
This is really a strange and emotionally draining time for me. If I'm not very responsive or here, then it's because I'm scared as fuck of social interaction. I've predicated that sometime close before leaving my panic would come.

Well, it's here now. And I'm constantly close to tears. So, I really do not have the energy to socially interact now. The sole thought of being alone in England and having to socialise with everybody without someone familiar to fall back on is terrifying. So only the thought drains the little tolerance I have. Oh, and if I seem mood and grouchy then that's a sign that my tolerance level has been overstepped and I'm on my last legs. I apologize in advance should I act like an asshole. Or just never reply. Or sound passive-aggressive.

At least it's not a "OMG I can't fucking go!" panic. Only a "OMFG I have to talk to people and be alone with them and alone and alone and what if they're assholes and what if we hate each other and what if they smoke and are assholes about it and what ifwhatifwhatif". A very uncomfortable and nasty panic.

Also, my foot still hurts and so I'm constantly feeling a bit sick. What a combination.

On another, hopefully distracting note:

I have no idea why September is meta month. If I weren't so panicked, I would care more about it, but at the moment I'm too drained. However, if you want to hear my thoughts on something, just say it. It might be a good distraction. Well, I'd do it later sometime.

/doesn't care if there are any typos in here. I can't re-read this now.

Edit: Art, because it distracted me :)

scarletmorning: (Duessel frowns at you)
I shall not ship Duessel/Vigarde. I shall not ship Duessel/Vigarde. I shall not ship Duessel/Vigarde. I shall not ship Duessel/Vigarde. I shall not...

Too late XD Ngl, this is fun. Non-shippy friendship is also awesome 8D Do want.

Also, what is your headcanon age for Duessel? I have the feeling that he's a few years older than Vigarde. Maybe around 52-54. Hm, I'm just also wondering how old Marcus is. He looks so old and tired in FE6.... Especially in his official art. And haggard. :(

Oh, and I don't know if I ever shared this pic with you, but it's sweet and I just feel like posting a pic:

Read more... )
Edit: OMG, I just stumped one of my toes and it hurts like hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD8 I hate this sick feeling you get when the pain creeps through your body up to your brain. So. Disgusting. HOMG, just the recollection of that feeling makes my stomach turn again. DDDDDDDX Also, my toe bleeds a bit. Hopefully it's not broken. Argl. The pic is a tiny bit appropriate now. Painnnnnnnnnnnnn.

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